The Giving Project

Christmas; the season of giving

Among other things, Christmas entails giving and receiving gifts and bits of kindness and love.  Who will you give to this year?  Will you give your mother a beautiful pair of earrings?  Give your office mates the obligatory mug and chocolate?  Maybe just send a check in the mail to the long distance cousin?  

You will have that picture perfect Christmas morning where you are filled with love as you watch your family members unwrap the thoughtfully picked out gifts.  You will receive that pair of shoes you have been hinting that you've been wanting for months and get so excited to wear them.  

But what about those who will not be able to experience that?  

Every day as I drive home form work, I pass a variation of homeless individuals who carry old worn backpacks filled with what I can assume as their only belongings.  They have the same weary face day after day.  Same clothes, same corner, same sign, different day.  These people will not be able to partake in the same Christmas traditions that my family does.  No presents under the tree or new shoes.  They are deprived of the opportunity to feel the warmth when given a gift.  

Does it have to be this way?

If you know me, you know I am a Christmas nut.  Christmas is not a day, but a season which starts in November and lasts through January.  It is a way of life and a feeling.  So, why can't homeless people receive gifts?  If anyone 'deserves' a gift, it is them.  Sleeping under the awnings of old abandoned buildings and eating scraps from rest stop trashcans is a daily battle for these people.  I wanted to spread kindness and love to the three homeless men which I see every week by giving them some hope and love.  So I did research on the most needed items for homeless individuals, compiled a list and hit the stores.  

My List :

soup  -  soap  -  snacks (granola, crackers, cookies)  -  toothpaste  -  toothbrush  -  socks (thick crew length)  -  tissues  -  baby wipes 

Once I got all of the items, I packed them in a sturdy zip lock bag and they were ready to go!  I put the bags in my car so I would have them when I saw one of the men in need.  That day as I came home from work, I stopped at the light right next to one of the regulars.  I rolled my window down and asked him if he would like the bag as it is filled with snacks, soaps, and socks.  His face lit up as he nodded and said, "Yes please!".  I handed him the bag and he began to turn it all around to see exactly what I had given him.  He smiled so big and thanked me repeatedly.  He quickly hobbled over to his worn backpack and zipped up his bag.  He then turned to me and mouthed "Bless you" as I drove off.  

To you, these items are taken for granted.  Things you use on a daily basis and have no trouble getting when needed.  To him, they were a miracle, a true gift to own and use.  It may be a small gesture that cost about $5 to make, but to him, it was everything.

HE is what Christmas is about.  Giving gifts of love and kindness to those who need them most.  If you are able, please consider giving a gift to someone who is less likely to share this Christmas tradition.  Maybe this is buying dinner for a civil servant or donating old clothing to a woman's shelter or making and giving a bag to a local homeless individual.  Join me in The Giving Project to spread Christmas love by giving a priceless gift to someone in need!  

Full Circle

It is always the unexpected moments with unexpected people that change your view on things.  Life seems to get you when you least expect it. 

Across the roar of a craft fair I hear, "Excuse me... What does the arrow mean?"

At first, I looked around to see who this woman was speaking too.  There was no one behind me or beside me that seemed to respond.  Then I realized she was staring right at me.  I walked over to her booth as she said, "Your arrow.  What does it signify?" 

"Ohhhh" I thought as I realized she was pointing to my tattoo of an arrow on my wrist.  (Sometimes I forget it's there because I've had it so long)  "Um" I stuttered, dreading the process of explaining myself to this stranger.  "Basically it signifies that you must be pulled back before being shot forward, kinda like an arrow being drawn." I explained, "In high school, I..."

"No need to explain your hardships.  Was that when you were being pulled back?"  She interrupted.  I nodded.  "Well then that's all I need to know.  No need to linger in the negativity.  And I'm hoping right now you are shooting forward."  She said in a sort of question.  

"Yes Ma'am.  I just moved to Tennessee last week and I am definitely shooting forward."  I answered as she scurried around her booth to hug me and welcome me to town.

I had never thought of it like that.  I got my arrow tattoo four years ago to signify the closure to a difficult part of my life.  I never thought it's meaning would find me again.  But here I am, four years later, sitting on the balcony of my new apartment, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I am in fact being shot forward.  I have come full circle and accomplished my dreams as I work hard to start a new chapter in my life. 
So again, my arrow tattoo becomes a daily reminder that there are hard times in every decision.  Obstacles are in place to make you stronger and smarter.  No one is perfect.  But hunny, buckle your seatbelt because you are about to be shot forward.  Enjoy the ride.

Manifesting my Dreams

"Manifest hopes and dreams.... The idea of visualizing something we want, and attracting it to us, is an ancient principle of life." - Kari Henley

If you have a dream, throw it into the universe and see what happens.  You will become more attracted and aware of things related to your dream.  Opportunities will arise.  Doors will open.  

As I prepare for my move to Tennessee, I realized that I have many ideas and dreams for myself in Nashville, some of which I have yet to express to anyone.  I have kept them quiet for many reasons, that being embarrassment or hesitation.  

Today is the day where I put my big dreams on paper for everyone to read.  

1.  Own a vintage re-sale shop

I discovered my passion for thrifting about 4 years ago as I identified as a "broke college student".  This began as a way to save money but quickly turned into my favorite hobby. My style evolved into an eclectic mix as I fell in love with vintage and antique pieces.  My collection grew as I began to experiment with different trends and styles.  I would love to own a vintage shop where I could offer vintage clothing and home decor pieces at a reasonable price so new owners can breathe new life into forgotten fashion.  

2.  Write children's books

I'm sure you already could tell as you read my blog, but I love creative writing (duh).  I took creative writing courses as electives in high school and college to increase my knowledge bank.  Both of these courses challenged me to write a short children's book.... and I LOVED it.  My goal is to get my masters degree in children's literature and then begin writing children's books on topics such as equality, uniqueness, and passion.  As an elementary school teacher, I have noticed the gap in books on these important topics and I would love to fill this gap in order to help students embrace their weirdness and shine a light on other's weirdness!  

3.  Vlog my adventures

A vlog is basically the video version on a blog, get it... videoblog, vlog.  There are so many amazing places to go, things to do, and food to eat in the Nashville area that I can not wait to explore.  As all of my friends and family are back home on the East Coast, I have no way to share my experiences with them in person.  What better way to share my adventures than through a video... right?  I would love to document my experiences through a vlog style video so friends and family can keep up with my shenanigans and maybe one day I can look back and watch my memories.  I don't know how good I'd be at vlogging but you never know until you try!

So there they are.  My three big dreams that I have thrown into the universe.  This is me, visualizing what I want so I can work towards achieving these goals.  Wish me luck!

"The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams."  - Oprah Winfrey

Chapter 22

When I visited for the first time two and a half years ago, I immediately knew I would one day call Nashville my home.

That dream has manifested into my reality.  Two and and a half years later, I am counting down the days as I pack up all my belongings to drive 11 hours away and move into my first big girl apartment.  I know what a lot of you are thinking, "Why Tennessee?  Why now?  With whom?"

Well let me explain...

Have you ever gotten that feeling like this was made for you or this is where you were meant to be?  Well I got that feeling in Nashville, Tennessee.  I fell in love with the city, the people, the music, the culture, the acceptance, and the love.  Nashville is a special place.  It's one of those things that you have to experience to understand.  The second I landed in Nashville, I understood and wanted to spend every second exploring and experiencing the city.

As graduation came into sight, I started to panic about my plans for the future.  I knew I wanted to end up in Nashville eventually but wasn't sure it was 'good timing'.  I was apprehensive about moving and leaving my family and friends behind.  

Was I going to find a job?  Can I afford this?  What if there is a family emergency?  Am I ready?

With much deliberation and talking to family, friends and mentors, I came to the conclusion that yes, I was ready and yes, this is happening.... now.
I am now a recent college graduate starting my post-grad career in Nashville, Tennessee as I interim teach while I plant my roots.

One of the first questions I get after telling people I am moving is, "Who are you moving in with?" and I answer, "Uhhh my cat?"  I am moving all by myself to a strange town where I know absolutely no one.  Yes, that sounds scary and lonely but I can not wait!  I have always been an independent person so I can not wait to explore the state and meet new people.

On August 8th, 2018 I get the keys to my first "big girl" apartment in Tennessee as I start a new chapter, Chapter 22.

Creativity

The Olympic buzz is wrapping up and all of the athletes are participating in interviews about Rio and in their individual events.  I heard a lot of the athletes refer to their sport as a mode of self –expression or an art form.  Who thought a muscle bound judo fighter would compare her roundhouse kicks and uppercuts to the soft strokes of a brush on a canvas?  I’ve never sought out creativity and artistic skill in practices other than painting and drawing.  This got me to thinking… in middle school, I discovered I sucked at art class.  I would follow all of the directions and try really hard but my projects would never turn out properly.  I could see the vision in my head, but my brain refused to collaborate with my colored pencil.  The fact that my painting did not compare to the model piece translated to “you suck at art” in my head.  I decided in that moment to avoid creative art projects if I could so I didn’t have to embarrass myself.  Over the years, that idea was converted to “I’m not creative”. 

That all changed when I went to college.  I found a group of people who turned into my creative space.  I learned how to express myself in ways that didn’t include smocks and watercolors.  My sorority nominated me for the position of website coordinator my sophomore year of college.  My duties included maintaining all social media outlets and our official website.  I slowly began to take photos of sisters at events and held photo shoots to collect content for the website.  By doing this, I found my creative artsy side!  I really enjoy photographing people and catching the feeling of our sisterhood in a picture. 

The other creative outlet I did not realize I had is blogging.  My senior year of high school I realized I loved to write and wasn’t too shabby at it!  It took me a few years to embrace this passion and explore what I can do with it which led me to creating my blog a little over a year ago.  At first I was afraid to share it with anyone, I wrote but didn’t tell anyone what I had done.  I finally got the confidence to share my blog through facebook.  I was overwhelmed by the praise and positive feedback!  This helped me recognize my creativity using words instead of colors.

Moral of the story is everyone is creative.  Just because your painting is hanging on your mom’s refrigerator instead of the walls of the Smithsonian, doesn’t mean you aren’t creative.  Explore your passions and talents to find creativity in sports, art, writing, exercise, or fashion!  Allow yourself to express your thoughts and emotions in a way others can’t.  I promise, it will be worth all of the failed attempts to paint a self portrait in elementary school. 

Quarter Life Crisis

A lot is changing in the next couple of weeks.  I am turning 20 years old, starting my junior year at Towson, and moving in with my first "real" roommate.  Some of my friends are graduating, moving, and getting married.

I think I am having a quarter life crisis.

I mean really! I am half way done with college.  What is next? I am a planner.  My agenda is my bible and I need to know when and where everything in my life is happening.  The idea that in two years, I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing is scary.  By scary, I mean anxiety provoking-night mare scary.

Over the past few weeks, I have been trying to picture my post-grad life.  It's a hard thing to plan because there are so many possibilities!  I will be a broke 22 year old with a cat.  Hypothetically, me and Cookie could go anywhere!  Texas, Hawaii, Italy, you name it! We could be traveling the country in a tiny house attached to a F-350!  But realistically... that's a whole other ball game.

Everyone tells recent grads to move back home and save money.  I, being an independent hard head, have always scoffed at the idea of moving back in with my parents for a year or two.  (sorry mom and dad) But, I think they are right.  I think I can tough it out a year back in my childhood room to save up for the rest of my life.  I think about it as an "independence investment".  Give up my independence for a year to gain the ability to fly the coop.
So there, year one is planned (kinda)

I have always wanted to live in the south.  I will take dirt roads over a concrete jungle any day! When my family and I visited Tennessee last January, I fell in love.  We stayed in Nashville and I liked the city just fine but could not see myself living there, too much concrete.  One day, we visited Williamson county which is 30 minutes south of the city.  We went to the historic district of Franklin and I felt at home.  I don't really know how to explain why or how I felt this way, but it was effortless and I knew that I wanted to live there some day. There is a recurring theme in my life of fast decision making.  I make decisions very quickly and I never go back on them.  When I pick something, that is my choice and 9 times out of 10 it is the right choice.  So, in three or four years, I hope to move to Williamson County, Tennessee with Cookie and buy a cute little house to fix up and call home for years to come.  I know that the end goal will take a lot of commitment and funding but I can do it.  It will definitely be hard leaving the town that I have called home for the past 19 years but I know it is worth it.

Now that I have the next couple years planned out, I can take a deep breath before my junior year starts.  I know now that I have to focus on my goal and save every penny I can so hopefully in a few years I can read this post sitting on my porch in Tennessee sippin on a cup of coffee.
Stay tuned for how my crisis unfolds! :)

I'm not a "churchy" Christian

Before you get offended by the title and start praying for me, please hear me out.

I was raised in a Christian household where we went to church every sunday, that is if we were not traveling for soccer tournaments.  My family is a member of Huntingtown United Methodist Church which is the friendliest quaint little church you can find in Calvert County.  Every sunday morning our awesome praise band rocks the church fully equipped with a drummer, banjo player, electric guitarist, the whole works.  I attended Sunday School every sunday and Vacation Bible School every summer.  Over the years I learned compassion and humility for all living things and I am very grateful that my church has helped mold me into the young lady I am today.

Don't get me wrong, I love my church and all of it's members but I do not rely on church to fuel my faith.  Let me explain.

A lot of faithful Christians "feel" Christ the second they step foot into a church.  That is their shelter, their holy place, where they feel loved and connected.  I have never fully identified with that ideal.  Me and mom have always agreed that we don't need church to feel it.  I get that feeling when I am in the community doing God's work.  This might be donating a dollar to Make a Wish, or teaching children not only about math and science but about kindness and respect, or holding the door for a mom of three kids, or raising money for JDRF through my sorority's event.  When I am making a difference in my community, no matter how small of a deed, THAT is when I feel the most connected to my faith.  I don't need the boundary of four concrete walls to allow me to "feel it".

It hurts me when I go to church and are lost in a sea of new faces and are greeted by old faces wondering where I've been.  I don't mean to disappear from my church family at times but I know they respect my wishes to explore my faith in other adventures.  Just because I don't go to church every sunday doesn't mean I'm not a good Christian.  Right?

Next time you feel absent, either physically or mentally, take a second to think of when the last time you did God's work.  Just the smallest act of kindness can improve the world around you.