Insecurities

I wrote this post a while ago.  Being harshly honest and open.  I never posted it in fear or the reactions.  Ironic right?  But today, I attended a screening of a new documentary called "The Illusionists" by Elena Rossini.  It prompted me to re-think this post and want to share it with y'all.
So, here it goes...

Everyone has insecurities.... right?

I scared myself the other day.  For the first time in my life, I had a "self hate" thought.  Sorority formal is coming up and I thought "hm, my outfit would look so much better if my stomach was flatter.  Maybe I'll eat less the week before so I will look good in pictures."

This stopped right in my tracks.  What was I thinking?  Starving myself to look "slimmer" in photos.  Harming myself.  Why?

All throughout my life, I have had low self esteem.  I have never been one hundred percent comfortable with my body and appearance.  But I had accepted that "fact" and was content with being "less than".  I tried everything.  Ate well.  Worked out.  Drank water.  Nothing made me feel completely comfortable with my body.

I have always hated how my stomach looked.  Always thought it was pudgy and big.  I have never worn tight clothing without covering up my stomach.  I do not own a body con dress.  Flowy is my friend.  I've learned how to dress for my body shape to draw attention aware from my stomach to look more flattering.

The fact that I have a fear of people looking at or touching my stomach is so sad.  But the fact is, most people have this.  Maybe its their teeth or toes or thighs or hairline.  Why though?  Why do we hate parts of our bodies?  Our bodies are amazing and unique.  No two stomachs are the same.  Why do we compare ourselves to actresses, singers, athletes, and our peers.

I am here to say that I love my body.  I love my pudgy tummy and my chicken skin on my arms and my uneven eyebrows and my long toes and my freckles on my legs.  I love my body and I pledge to uplift myself and accept my body.  I promise to stop comparing myself to others.

I invite you to address your insecurities.  Accept them.  Love them.