Creativity

The Olympic buzz is wrapping up and all of the athletes are participating in interviews about Rio and in their individual events.  I heard a lot of the athletes refer to their sport as a mode of self –expression or an art form.  Who thought a muscle bound judo fighter would compare her roundhouse kicks and uppercuts to the soft strokes of a brush on a canvas?  I’ve never sought out creativity and artistic skill in practices other than painting and drawing.  This got me to thinking… in middle school, I discovered I sucked at art class.  I would follow all of the directions and try really hard but my projects would never turn out properly.  I could see the vision in my head, but my brain refused to collaborate with my colored pencil.  The fact that my painting did not compare to the model piece translated to “you suck at art” in my head.  I decided in that moment to avoid creative art projects if I could so I didn’t have to embarrass myself.  Over the years, that idea was converted to “I’m not creative”. 

That all changed when I went to college.  I found a group of people who turned into my creative space.  I learned how to express myself in ways that didn’t include smocks and watercolors.  My sorority nominated me for the position of website coordinator my sophomore year of college.  My duties included maintaining all social media outlets and our official website.  I slowly began to take photos of sisters at events and held photo shoots to collect content for the website.  By doing this, I found my creative artsy side!  I really enjoy photographing people and catching the feeling of our sisterhood in a picture. 

The other creative outlet I did not realize I had is blogging.  My senior year of high school I realized I loved to write and wasn’t too shabby at it!  It took me a few years to embrace this passion and explore what I can do with it which led me to creating my blog a little over a year ago.  At first I was afraid to share it with anyone, I wrote but didn’t tell anyone what I had done.  I finally got the confidence to share my blog through facebook.  I was overwhelmed by the praise and positive feedback!  This helped me recognize my creativity using words instead of colors.

Moral of the story is everyone is creative.  Just because your painting is hanging on your mom’s refrigerator instead of the walls of the Smithsonian, doesn’t mean you aren’t creative.  Explore your passions and talents to find creativity in sports, art, writing, exercise, or fashion!  Allow yourself to express your thoughts and emotions in a way others can’t.  I promise, it will be worth all of the failed attempts to paint a self portrait in elementary school. 

Quarter Life Crisis

A lot is changing in the next couple of weeks.  I am turning 20 years old, starting my junior year at Towson, and moving in with my first "real" roommate.  Some of my friends are graduating, moving, and getting married.

I think I am having a quarter life crisis.

I mean really! I am half way done with college.  What is next? I am a planner.  My agenda is my bible and I need to know when and where everything in my life is happening.  The idea that in two years, I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing is scary.  By scary, I mean anxiety provoking-night mare scary.

Over the past few weeks, I have been trying to picture my post-grad life.  It's a hard thing to plan because there are so many possibilities!  I will be a broke 22 year old with a cat.  Hypothetically, me and Cookie could go anywhere!  Texas, Hawaii, Italy, you name it! We could be traveling the country in a tiny house attached to a F-350!  But realistically... that's a whole other ball game.

Everyone tells recent grads to move back home and save money.  I, being an independent hard head, have always scoffed at the idea of moving back in with my parents for a year or two.  (sorry mom and dad) But, I think they are right.  I think I can tough it out a year back in my childhood room to save up for the rest of my life.  I think about it as an "independence investment".  Give up my independence for a year to gain the ability to fly the coop.
So there, year one is planned (kinda)

I have always wanted to live in the south.  I will take dirt roads over a concrete jungle any day! When my family and I visited Tennessee last January, I fell in love.  We stayed in Nashville and I liked the city just fine but could not see myself living there, too much concrete.  One day, we visited Williamson county which is 30 minutes south of the city.  We went to the historic district of Franklin and I felt at home.  I don't really know how to explain why or how I felt this way, but it was effortless and I knew that I wanted to live there some day. There is a recurring theme in my life of fast decision making.  I make decisions very quickly and I never go back on them.  When I pick something, that is my choice and 9 times out of 10 it is the right choice.  So, in three or four years, I hope to move to Williamson County, Tennessee with Cookie and buy a cute little house to fix up and call home for years to come.  I know that the end goal will take a lot of commitment and funding but I can do it.  It will definitely be hard leaving the town that I have called home for the past 19 years but I know it is worth it.

Now that I have the next couple years planned out, I can take a deep breath before my junior year starts.  I know now that I have to focus on my goal and save every penny I can so hopefully in a few years I can read this post sitting on my porch in Tennessee sippin on a cup of coffee.
Stay tuned for how my crisis unfolds! :)

I'm not a "churchy" Christian

Before you get offended by the title and start praying for me, please hear me out.

I was raised in a Christian household where we went to church every sunday, that is if we were not traveling for soccer tournaments.  My family is a member of Huntingtown United Methodist Church which is the friendliest quaint little church you can find in Calvert County.  Every sunday morning our awesome praise band rocks the church fully equipped with a drummer, banjo player, electric guitarist, the whole works.  I attended Sunday School every sunday and Vacation Bible School every summer.  Over the years I learned compassion and humility for all living things and I am very grateful that my church has helped mold me into the young lady I am today.

Don't get me wrong, I love my church and all of it's members but I do not rely on church to fuel my faith.  Let me explain.

A lot of faithful Christians "feel" Christ the second they step foot into a church.  That is their shelter, their holy place, where they feel loved and connected.  I have never fully identified with that ideal.  Me and mom have always agreed that we don't need church to feel it.  I get that feeling when I am in the community doing God's work.  This might be donating a dollar to Make a Wish, or teaching children not only about math and science but about kindness and respect, or holding the door for a mom of three kids, or raising money for JDRF through my sorority's event.  When I am making a difference in my community, no matter how small of a deed, THAT is when I feel the most connected to my faith.  I don't need the boundary of four concrete walls to allow me to "feel it".

It hurts me when I go to church and are lost in a sea of new faces and are greeted by old faces wondering where I've been.  I don't mean to disappear from my church family at times but I know they respect my wishes to explore my faith in other adventures.  Just because I don't go to church every sunday doesn't mean I'm not a good Christian.  Right?

Next time you feel absent, either physically or mentally, take a second to think of when the last time you did God's work.  Just the smallest act of kindness can improve the world around you.